Sunday, January 23, 2011

January 23, 2011 - Reflections on the things I write

I already knew yesterday what I was going to write about today. It became clear during a conversation with a friend yesterday afternoon. I had mentioned something that had happened to me this week and he said he’d already known about it. ‘How did he know?’ I asked.

“I read it on your blog,” was his reply.

I got to thinking about myself, my writing, and these daily blog entries and then early this morning I got another reminder from another friend that maybe I’m putting a little too much out there for all to see. Looking back from when I first started writing, it’s plainly evident that writing highly personal things has been a part of my way, but is it okay? Am I foolish or just am I just an artist writing about life’s experiences as a way of releasing my inner thoughts and providing words that are entertaining to others? I think it’s probably a mixture of both.

Ever since I started writing this blog again a couple of weeks ago, I’ve shared some pretty intimate details of my life, my thoughts and my experiences. As a result of writing them down, I guess I’ve been a little remiss about sharing them with my friends face to face, and they’ve noticed. I’ve thought a lot about it the past 24 hours, and though I can’t explain it all, I will try to do some of it here.

Everyone deals with anxiety in different ways. When a stressful situation comes up, some people find relief in talking with people who will listen, while others prefer to keep it all inside. Though I’ve dealt with stress before in both manners, my recent troubles have led me to keep my innermost feelings to myself. I haven’t reached out to the people in my life because in this instance I prefer to keep it inside, orally anyway.

All stress needs to be released somehow, and since writing is often therapy for me, I prefer to do it this way. Turning to friends or family with problems such as this can be received in a couple of ways. Either the other person will lend a sympathetic ear or they will automatically throw in their proverbial two cents. In this particular case I have never sought out advice from anyone, yet far too many have taken it upon themselves to give me some whether I ask for it or not. That only serves to muddy my waters.

When I put my feelings to paper, I’m not getting any feedback, just a much needed ear. Whether or not anyone actually reads what I write here (and I’m fairly certain that there are people following me on this journey), I get to release my stress a bit and it does give me some relief.

From this point going forward, I will continue to share much of my experience. I’ve found it’s a good way to bring people in and maybe lead them to find what else I write. After all, I think that’s the purpose of a writer’s blog and so far, I think it’s working. One of my goals in life to someday write for my living, and hopefully this will only serve to help me towards that goal. I will be mindful of what I say when I involve others in my writings, but I don’t think I’ll ever change…

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