Monday, October 1, 2012

October 1, 2012 - The Kavorka, LI GLBT Expo

Well it's Monday night and the first hump of the week is over with. I tell ya, ever since school began a month ago, I feel like every minute of every day is a frenzied, fast-paced race just to keep up. Between business at work, stuff to do at home, writing and socializing, I barely have time for sleep, and that's probably part of the reason I am sick at the moment.

The Kavorka

A couple of weeks ago, I posted this on my Facebook page:

I think I've come down with a case of the kavorka!  

Now anyone out there who ever watched Seinfeld will know what that means.  But there was one FB friend of mine who apparently didn't.  Almost immediately after I posted that she says, "Okay, I'll bite.  What is it you came down with?"  I couldn't resist, so I looked it up on Urban Dictionary and crafted this reply:

Well, the kavorka is a Latvian word that means 'lure of the animal.' It's kinda hard to explain, but it can make me dangerous to others.  I believe it's a temporary thing, though I may have to find a Latvian high priestess to help rid myself of it.

Again, those who know Seinfeld will well remember this episode, where Kramer comes down with the illness and everyone starts finding him irresistible  including a Latvian Orthodox nun.  Hysterical!  If you're not in the know about this, check out a little clip that might help explain it:

You might be wondering why I posted that status on my Facebook.  Well I posted it after my first night of bowling, when no less than three guys showed some sort of interest in me.  It was strange because I'm surely not used to getting so much attention, but hey I should be thankful for that, right?  I've never really had to much of a high self-esteem, so I don't find it easy reacting to people that are interested in me that way.  Like everything else, this kind of thing comes in spurts, but I guess I enjoy at least some of the attention....  

The Long Island GLBT Expo

Yesterday was the Long Island GLBT Expo at the Hilton in Melville, and though the Expo itself was a little hum drum, same old, same old, the company and the entertainment were fabulous!  Right upon walking into the joint, I was passed by none other than Aunt Barbara, coming out of the restroom with a long string of toilet paper dragging out of the back of her dress.

A woman who had seen this yelled out, "Mam, you've got toilet paper..."  At this, Auntie walked even faster away from her and into the banquet room where the Expo was taking place.  She let out her signature guffaw as she walked, and I knew she had done it on purpose!  Of course I followed...

Now you know I love me some Aunt Barbara, and one of the reasons I came was because she was scheduled to perform.  I tell ya, she could make money even without the Tupperware because she's so funny.  Yesterday's shtick was a mock game show, Jeopardy-style.  I never laughed so hard.  The categories for the questions asked of the contestants were Campy Movies, Long Island Scandals, Dead Actresses, and Benjamin Netanyahu, and you can imagine how funny they were.

Of course, no one at first chose the Benjamin Netanyahu category, but once they did, that's when it got even funnier.  One of the questions went something like this: 

If Benjamin Netanyahu left Tel Aviv on a train going 70 miles an hour...who was the spokesperson for Duncan Hines?

Coupled with her own unique sound effects and campy humor (every once in awhile she'd throw "imitation yodels" out to the audience, just to please), she was definitely the star of this show.  

Another performance was given by the LI Gay Mens Chorus, two of whose members are my new bowling teammates, Mike and Ray.  As always, they put on a great set of three songs, after which I'd had enough of the Expo.

One of the biggest draws of the afternoon, other than the entertainment, was the presence of the world-famous NOH8 Campaign.  They were on hand to do their very first ever Long Island shoot, taking their iconic photos of locals.  I so wanted to do it, but the wait was over an hour!  Maybe next time! 

Finally, I did run into a lot of people I knew...bowling buddies, a couple of Fire Island friends, and I was surprised to see my pal Blanche there.  I'd thought about asking him to go, but he was traveling today and so I thought he wouldn't, but there he was, and he was all excited when he saw me.

"Oh my God!  Madeline Keith is here and he remembered me!"  Well, I've spoken of Madeline Keith before..he was a drag queen back in the days of Crystals in Smithtown and he and I were friendly.  After that bar closed, he's worked at the Ice Palace in Cherry Grove for awhile, but then disappeared.  Neither Blanche nor I had seen him in years and every once in awhile we mention his name in conversation.

So I was excited to see him too, and Blanchie took me right to him.  Wow, in the flesh, and guess what?  It turns out he's on my bowling league!  He told me he saw me and that I looked familiar, but wasn't sure where from.  That's how bad I am at remembering faces!  Since there was a lot going on, we only chatted for a minute or two, but I will be talking to him at bowling, for sure.  Stay tuned, and if you want to know more about my history with him, read Q is for Queens.

Well, that's enough for one night, methinks.  As always, thanks for checking in.  Have a great week!


  1. I haven't seen Seinfeld in forever... :)

  2. In a spirit of preparing for a costume party next weekend I goggled "Latvian Orthodox kavorka" to get a details on nun's costume, and your blog entry came up... Being 100% Latvian, I swear it's made up religion and made up word. Glad it works for you though!!!

  3. Haha, that's too funny, actually! Thanks for the comment!